you love sumone..yet u still fall for others
Sunday. 1.11.04 9:47 pm
curse infatuation...y is it that even though u love someone...(or yur pretty sure that u do) those great hormones are still at work?...i mean..i love this guy a lot..but i cant help it if..i dunno..if i start liking another guy..
mentally-i dont want to like n e more ppl..i juss want to have the love i have now..i wanna forget about other guys nd juss commit to this one...
emotionally-hormones..those raging hormones..y cant they juss give it a rest......but there's also another factor in this problem...
kinda like one tree hill (that new show on wb)...see..i confessed my love to this guy nd he says that he loves me baq...but theres juss so many reasons y we aren't together rite now....
for example~~before~~ (i posted this on mai xanga wen i didn't confess to him yet) i said stuff about how after i would confess obviously sumthing would have to happen...either we stay friends..or we get together.....
friends-its great..i mean really...but i juss wouldn't be able to get out of mai mind what would happen if we were supposed to get together...there'd always be this "what if" in mai mind.........
together-i like this too...but..i mean..not all relationships last...eventually we'd break up (unless we go into marraige or sumthing..haha)...nd..well..a lot of ppl that i noe..they not exactly great friends wid their exes...heck..even im not......so there would have to be some tension between us...i mean nothing stays perfect forever....so i'd probably prefer the first option........
~~now~~...after he read that...he kinda agreed that we should stay friends....but some other reasons are cuz of his religion...or his parents.....so i guess that...yes...we do love eachother...nd we are...i juss a "couple"..juss not "officially"..cuz we're not going out...but i dunno...
because of the fact that we're not going out..i juss feel like i still wanna be wid other guys...not like that..but i mean still be able to flirt around wid other guys...be close wid them widout mai conscience thinking this is the wrong thing to do.....gosh..its juss so confusing...i guess it's cuz im still young...
mentally i want to commit maiself to him...but emotionally...er..hormoney?...i still want to be open for other guys....esp if this guy doesn't happen to be mr. rite.....
sigh...im soo confused...
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